


Rodney McKay: Sexual Detective

by Cesare



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-02
Updated: 2010-12-02
Packaged: 2017-10-13 11:48:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/137004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cesare/pseuds/Cesare
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by a <a href="http://almostnever.livejournal.com/714775.html?thread=5418007#t5418007">comment from Runpunkrun</a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rodney McKay: Sexual Detective

"It's not for me."

Dr. McKay sits behind a desk, elbows braced and hands folded; to one side is the outer casing of a realistic vibrator, to the other is the guts of the thing, half-assembled. "Oh, of course," he says. "You and half my other new clients-- it's never for any of you, you're always so quick to tell me. I could set a watch by you people."

"It's for my ex," says John.

"Huh." McKay picks up the mechanism and a tiny screwdriver. "Okay, that I might believe. I'll tell you now that as much as I'm in favor of spite, I don't usually believe in using sex toys to express it. But I'll hear you out... what're you looking for?"

John's been psyching himself up to this for weeks. He reminds himself that McKay doesn't know him, doesn't know anyone connected to him, and has a reputation for absolute confidentiality. And he's definitely heard weirder things than anything John could tell him.

It's still hard to pry the words out of his mouth, but he keeps his voice casual. "Nancy's my ex-wife. We had a friendly split, she married again a couple of years later. He cheated on her, she's leaving him, and she's at a real fish-needs-a-bicycle stage right now."

"And you think the perfect sex-themed gift will get you back into her bed?"

"No! No, that's not it." John says, trying not to be offended; it comes out a little whiny and defensive anyway. "We-- look, do I really have to explain? I thought I could just tell you what she'd like."

McKay waves an exasperated hand. "I can't choose the perfect item if I don't know the background."

"I'm gay," John blurts.

"...And?"

 _God, great timing, John._ The first time he ever actually says those words out loud and it's to a completely indifferent sex toy creator. Of course it's no big deal to McKay, the guy's made vibrators shaped like lion dicks; they're on his _website._

"And," he pushes on, "she always knew. We got married for other reasons. But we were faithful, we just, uh, did a lot of mutual... stuff with toys. And this asshole second husband, she told me that he got pissy about her collection, so she threw it all out. And then he cheated on her. So that's the background, that's why I want to give her this."

"Hm." McKay's put aside the motor he was working on, his hands spread on the desk loosely curved, like they're used to resting on a keyboard. "Okay. Just one thing? Or do you want to replace her whole collection?"

"I thought there was a waiting list. One thing per client and then you go to the back of the queue."

McKay studies him, openly looking him up and down in a way that makes John's face heat.

"I can make an exception," he says. "In fact, in this case, it's inevitable. We're not just going to be shopping for your ex-wife."

Not so indifferent after all, then.


End file.
